As we prepare to enter into a new decade, we are inundated with questions of what the new year will bring.
Will it be a good year? Or will it be worse?
Perhaps, you feel as though your marriage is hanging by a shred. Or perhaps, you’re living in autopilot. Day in and day out, you just run through the motions of “married life” but feel absolutely no sense of fulfilment. You even feel guilty about having these thoughts so you bury them, along with yourself into the mundane hustle and bustle. What if I told you that you could get out of your dead end marriage?
Now wait a minute, before packing your bags, KEEP READING!
It’s not what you think–I’m not suggesting you should leave your spouse. That would be TOO easy…
Sit tight, grab a pen and paper, and take some notes:
What if I told you that YOU have the power to SAVE your marriage? Yes, it IS possible. (I see that eye-roll in the spirit 😝)
Before I go further. I’ll add an important DISCLAIMER; it is important to recognize that it DOES take TWO to make a marriage work. This post focuses on things YOU can do to initiate the spark of change in your marriage.
I promise if you’ll just hang around a bit longer, you might just get a little inspired.
Now listen, whether you’re at the end of your rope or you’re barely existing—-there IS hope! The change starts with YOU! I want you to think of the year 2020 as a year of 20/20 VISION and CLARITY.
If you could see what your marriage should look like, what would you see?
Before finding all your spouse’s record of wrongs, do an introspective look. Chances are, if things are where they are at, you’ve stopped contributing at some point. Even if your spouse hasn’t been the best Godly example, YOU can be!
Start seeing your marriage with the eyes of FAITH, and allow the Holy Spirit to begin a work inside of YOU first. You are the catalyst that will kickstart your relationship to new heights. Growth is a human need; when you stop growing, death becomes inevitable. Begin investing into your marriage.
Here are just a few practical ways to start:
✏️Couples that pray together—STAY together—and their bond grows stronger. A three fold cord is not easily broken! (Eccl. 4:12). Make the first move! She will LOVE IT. Nothing turns a woman on like a Godly LEADER! When you pray together, you discover who the real enemy is–and it’s NOT your spouse! If you would be honest with yourself, had this been a regular practice from the beginning of your marriage, it’s likely that you would be at a much better place today.
✏️Be grateful! Every morning when you wake up, make it your priority to thank God for everything that comes to mind. Journal about it! As you do, your mind will be flooded with more things to be thankful for. Focus on all the good qualities in your spouse and ask God to help you be the best spouse you can be. Pray for his heart. Pray that God will soften his heart and be responsive to the purpose God has for him. God will give you the grace to love your imperfect spouse just as God loves imperfect you.
✏️Take up a new activity or hobby together —YOU make the first move to initiate it. Maybe they already have a hobby, but you’ve never joined him. How about asking him to go on a fishing trip together? Surprise him…he will surprise YOU.
✏️Find new and exciting ways to bring your spouse joy—remember the small things, like doing the dishes or taking out the trash without being asked 😉 (yes, she will notice, BIG TIME). Start taking notes on things she really loves. Be a spouse detective! Maybe she’s had her eye on that red vase at the Home Sense store. Why not pick it up for her–and don’t wait for a special event or holiday. Do it on a regular day. YOU make that day special.
✏️Commit to regular date nights. Find a different place every time. And keep the conversation on you two as a couple—keep work, family life, the children etc out of it! This is time to focus on YOUR SPOUSE. TELL him how much he means to you….he NEEDS to hear it! Tell him how much you appreciate his hard work. Tell him how handsome he is. This is your time to honour him and praise him.
✏️Go to bed at the SAME time, if at all possible—if not—schedule DAILY snuggle time together (you can thank me later😝)
This is by no means an exhaustive list, but I promise you, if you take the initiative to make these changes, positive change is POSSIBLE!!
So get out of your dead end marriage, and start resurrecting together as the couple God wants you to be!
#makingmarriagegreatagain #marriageresolutions #newyearsresolution2020